SH23翻译：十八岁出门远行（余华）
SH23翻译：十八岁出门远行（余华）
Translation: Travel Afar From Home At Age Eighteen (Yu Hua)
(translated by: alexcwlin; edited by: Adam Lam)
柏油马路起伏不止，马路像是贴在海浪上。
An undulating asphalt road went up and down continuously as if it were stuck to ocean waves.
我走在这条山区公路上，我像一条船。
In walking on this mountain highway I felt like I were a boat.
这年我十八岁，
That year I was eighteen years old.
我下巴上那几根黄色的胡须迎风飘飘，
The several strands of yellow goatees under my chin were waving in the wind.
那是第一批来这里定居的胡须，所以我格外珍重它们，
Those were the first beards that settled there and so I particularly cherished them.
我在这条路上走了整整一天，已经看了很多山和很多云。
I had been walking along this road for a whole day and seeing many mountains and clouds.
所有的山所有的云，都让我联想起了熟悉的人。我就朝着它们呼唤他们的绰号，
All those mountains and clouds reminded me of familiar people and I called out their nicknames as I was looking at those reminders.
所以尽管走了一天，可我一点也不累。
Therefore despite traveling for a day, I didn’t feel a bit tired.
我就这样从早晨里穿过，现在走进了下午的尾声，
In this manner I had passed morning and was heading toward the tail end of afternoon.
而且还看到了黄昏的头发。
Now a trace of evening was in sight.
但是我还没走进一家旅店。
But I had not checked into a motel.
我在路上遇到不少人，可他们都不知道前面是可处，前面是否有旅店。
I ran into many people on the road, but all of them did not know what was further ahead and if there would be motel coming up.
他们都这样告诉我：“你走过去看吧。”
They all told me: “You go there and see for yourself.”
我觉得他们说的太好了，我确实是在走过去看。
I felt they were great in what they said and really I was going there to see for myself.
可是我还没走进一家旅店。我觉得自己应该为旅店操心。
But I had not checked into a motel and I thought I should be worried about motel by that time.
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我奇怪自己走了一天竟只遇到一次汽车。
It was strange that in walking for the whole day, I only ran into an automobile once.
那时是中午，
That was at noon.
那时我刚刚想搭车，但那时仅仅只是想搭车，那时我还没为旅店操心，
At that time, I just wanted to ride in an automobile and was not yet concerned about checking into a motel.
那时我只是觉得搭一下车非常了不起。
I only felt riding in a car would be a big deal.
我站在路旁朝那辆汽车挥手，
While standing beside the road I waved at the car.
我努力挥得很潇洒。
I put in much effort trying to look cool in waving.
可那个司机看也没看我，汽车和司机一样，也是看也没看，
But both the driver and the car did not look at me once.
在我眼前一闪就他妈的过去了。
They went past me in a damned flash.
我就在汽车后面拚命地追了一阵，我这样做只是为了高兴，因为那时我还没有为旅店操心。
I chased after the car with all my might for a while just for fun, because I was not worried about a motel at the time.
我一直追到汽车消失之后，然后我对着自己哈哈大笑，
The chasing continued until the car went out of sight and then I laughed heartily to myself.
但是我马上发现笑得太厉害会影响呼吸，于是我立刻不笑。
Then I discovered laughing too hard would affect my breathing, and so I stopped laughing immediately.
接着我就兴致勃勃地继续走路，
I continued to walk on in high spirit.
但心里却开始后悔起来，后悔刚才没在潇洒地挥着手里放一块大石子。
But in my mind I was regretful that I did not place a rock in my graceful waving hand a while ago.
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现在我真想搭车，因为黄昏就要来了，
Now I really wanted to ride in a vehicle because evening was at hand.
可旅店还在它妈肚子里，
Yet motel was still nowhere in sight.
但是整个下午竟没再看到一辆汽车。
After all, I didn’t see a car again for the whole afternoon.
要是现在再拦车，我想我准能拦住。
But then if I wanted to stop a car I would for sure be able to do so.
我会躺到公路中央去，我敢肯定所有的汽车都会在我耳边来个急刹车。
I would lie in the middle of the road and definitely all the cars would brake to a screech.
然而现在连汽车的马达声都听不到。
But at that moment I could not hear even motor sound of a car.
现在我只能走过去看了，
Now I could only walk further up ahead to see what could be there.
这话不错，走过去看。
The expression “walk over and look” was indeed nicely put.
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公路高低起伏，
The highway went up and down.
那高处总在诱惑我，诱惑我没命奔上去看旅店，
A high point was always tempting to me and lured me to run up like crazy to check for a motel.
可每次都只看到另一个高处，中间是一个叫人沮丧的弧度。
But every time I only saw another high spot and the middle was a disheartening curve.
尽管这样我还是一次一次地往高处奔，次次都是没命地奔。
Despite happening that way time and time again, I still ran towards those high spots and every time I ran really hard as if my life depended on it.
眼下我又往高处奔去。
At that very moment I was running toward another high point.
这一次我看到了，看到的不是旅店而是汽车。
This time what I saw was not a motel but an automobile.
汽车是朝我这个方向停着的，停在公路的低处。
The automobile driving in my direction stopped at a low place of the highway.
我看到那个司机高高翘起的屁股，屁股上有晚霞。
I saw the raised buttock of the driver with evening glow bouncing off the butt.
司机的脑袋我看不见，他的脑袋正塞在车头里。
The driver’s head was not in sight and it was under the hood of the automobile.
那车头的盖子斜斜翘起，像是翻起的嘴唇。
The lifted hood was at a slanted angle like pouting lips.
车箱里高高堆着箩筐，我想着箩筐里装的肯定是水果。
The trunk was piled high with bamboo baskets and I figured it had to be fruits inside them.
当然最好是香蕉。我想他的驾驶室里应该也有，
Preferably they were bananas and there should be some lying inside the driver’s compartment.
那么我一坐进去就可以拿起来吃了，
That way I could pick them up and start eating once I got in.
虽然汽车将要朝我走来的方向开去，但我已经不在乎方向。
Even though the automobile was heading towards the direction where I came from but I didn’t care about direction anymore.
我现在需要旅店，
What I needed was a motel.
旅店没有就需要汽车，汽车就在眼前。
Without a motel I needed an automobile, and an automobile was right in front of me.
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我兴致勃勃地跑了过去，向司机打招呼：“老乡，你好。”
I ran up excitedly and greeted the driver: “Good day, fella.”
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司机好像没有听到，仍在弄着什么。
It seemed like the driver did not hear me and kept on fiddling at something.
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“老乡，抽烟。”
“Fella, smoke?”
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这时他才使了使劲，将头从里面拔出来，并伸过来一只黑乎乎的手，夹住我递过去的烟。
At that moment he pulled his head out with much effort and stretched out his blackened hand to hold the cigarette from me between two fingers.
我赶紧给他点火。
I hurried to light the cigarette for him.
他将烟叼在嘴上吸了几口后，又把头塞了进去。
He took a few puffs at the cigarette dangling from his mouth and then he put his head back under the hood.
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于是我心安理得了，
So I felt at ease.
他只要接过我的烟，他就得让我坐他的车。
I imagined since he accepted my cigarette, he had to let me ride in his automobile.
我就绕着汽车转悠起来，转悠是为了侦察箩筐的内容。
So I sauntered around his vehicle to check out the contents of the baskets.
可是我看不清，
But I was not able to see anything clearly.
便去使用鼻子闻，闻到了苹果味，
I used my nose to sniff and picked up scent of apples.
苹果也不错，我这样想。
I thought apples would be pretty good.
不一会他修好了车，就盖上车盖跳了下来。
Before long he finished fixing the automobile, slammed down the hood and jumped down to the ground.
我赶紧走上去说：“老乡，我想搭车。”
I walked up to him in a hurry and said: “Pal, may I get a ride from you?”
不料他用黑乎乎的手推了我一把，粗暴地说：“滚开。”
Unexpectedly he used his blackened hand to give me a shove and said rudely: “Get the hell away.”
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我气得无话可说，他却慢悠悠地打开车门钻了进去，
I was lost for words in fury, but he took his time to open the vehicle door and went inside.
然后发动机响了起来。我知道要是错过这次机会，将不再有机会。
Then sound of the fired up engine could be heard, and I knew if I missed this opportunity to get a ride there would not be another one.
我知道现在应该豁出去了。
It was time to go for broke.
于是我跑到另一侧，也拉开车门钻了进去。
So I went to the other side of the vehicle, pulled open the door and went inside.
我准备与他在驾驶室里大打一场。
I was prepared to get into a big scrape with him inside the driver’s compartment.
我进去时首先是冲着他吼了一声：“你嘴里还叼着我的烟。”
The moment I went in I howled at him: “You’re still dangling my cigarette in your mouth.”
这时汽车已经活动了。
By then the car had already started moving.
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然而他却笑嘻嘻地十分友好地看起我来，
Yet he was smiling and very friendly in the way he was looking at me.
这让我大惑不解。
I was really puzzled.
他问：“你上哪?”
He asked: “Where are you going?”
我说：“随便上哪。”
I said: “Anywhere would be fine.”
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他又亲切地问：“想吃苹果吗?”他仍然看着我。
He asked me cordially while looking at me: “Do you want to eat any apple?”
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“那还用问。”
“Do you need to ask?”
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“到后面去拿吧。”
“Go to get some at the back.”
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他把汽车开得那么快，我敢爬出驾驶室爬到后面去吗?
He was driving the automobile very fast, and how would I dare to crawl to the back?
于是我就说：“算了吧。”
So I said: “Forget it.”
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他说：“去拿吧。”他的眼睛还在看着我。
He said while his eyes kept looking at me: “Go and get some!”.
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我说：“别看了，
I said: “Don’t look at me.
我脸上没公路。”
I don’t have the highway on my face.”
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他这才扭过头去看公路了。
Then he turned his head around to look at the highway.
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汽车朝我来时的方向驰着，我舒服地坐在座椅上，
The vehicle speeded towards the direction where I came from and I sat comfortably in the seat.
看着窗外，和司机聊着天。
I was looking out the window while shooting the breeze with him.
现在我和他已经成为朋友了。我已经知道他是在个体贩运。
Now we had become friends, and I knew he was a proprietor vendor-trucker.
这汽车是他自己的，苹果也是他的。我还听到了他口袋里面钱儿叮当响。
He owned both the automobile and the apples, and I could hear his pockets were clinking with coins.
我问他：“你到什么地方去?”
I asked him: “Where are you going?”
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他说：“开过去看吧。”
He said: “Let’s drive ahead and see.”
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这话简直像是我兄弟说的，这话可多亲切。
These words simply were something which my own brother would say and how warm they really sounded.
我觉得自己与他更亲近了。
I felt he and I were getting much closer with each other.
车窗外的一切应该是我熟悉的，
Everything outside the window should be something which I was familiar with.
那些山那些云都让我联想起来了另一帮熟悉人来了，于是我又叫唤起另一批绰号来了。
Those mountains and clouds reminded me of some other familiar faces, and I had to come up with another bunch of nicknames.
现在我根本不在乎什么旅店，
Now I surely did not care about any motel.
这汽车这司机这座椅让我心安而理得。
I was completely put at ease by the automobile, the driver and the seat.
我不知道汽车要到什么地方去，他也不知道。
I did not know where this vehicle was heading and he did not know either.
反正前面是什么地方对我们来说无关紧要，
In any case it was unimportant for us what places were lying ahead further down the road.
我们只要汽车在驰着，那就驰过去看吧。
So long as the vehicle was racing ahead, we would be speeding along to take a look.
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可是这汽车抛锚了，
But this automobile broke down again.
那个时候我们已经是好得不能再好的朋友了。
By that time we were practically bosom buddies.
我把手搭在他肩上，他把手搭在我肩上。
We put hands on each other’s shoulders.
他正在把他的恋爱说给我听，正要说第一次拥抱女性的感觉时，这汽车抛锚了。汽车是在上坡时抛锚的，
He was telling me about his romances and just when he was getting into how he felt holding a female for the first time, the vehicle conked out while climbing a slope.
那个时候汽车突然不叫唤了，像死猪那样突然不动了。
It simply would not respond and lay there motionless like a dead pig.
于是他又爬到车头上去了，又把那上嘴唇翻了起来，脑袋又塞了进去。
So he climbed back to the front of the vehicle, lifted up the pouted-lip-like hood, and poked his head underneath.
我坐在驾驶室里，我知道他的屁股此刻肯定又高高翘起，
I sat inside the driver’s compartment and knew for sure his buttocks would be tilting high up in the air.
但上嘴唇挡住了我的视线，我看不到他的屁股，
But the lip-like hood was blocking my view and I could not see his butts.
可我听得到他修车的声音。
Yet I could hear noises made by him in fixing the vehicle.
过了一会他把脑袋拔了出来，把车盖盖上。
After a while he took his head out and closed the hood.
他那时的手更黑了，
His hands became more blackened.
他把脏手在衣服上擦了又擦，
He wiped his dirty hands on his clothes again and again.
然后跳到地上走了过来。
Then he jumped down to the ground and walked over.
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“修好了?”我问。
“Is it fixed?” I asked.
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“完了，
“It’s all over.
没法修了。”他说。
I can’t fix it,” he said.
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我想完了，
I thought that was it.
“那怎么办呢”我问。
“Then what should we do?” I asked.
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“等着瞧吧。”他漫不经心地说。
“Just wait and see,” he said seemingly unconcerned.
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我仍在汽车里坐着，不知该怎么办。
I was still sitting in the vehicle and didn’t know what to do.
眼下我又想起什么旅店来了。
At that stage I thought about motel again.
那个时候太陽要落山了，晚霞则像蒸气似地在升腾。
By that time the sun was setting and evening glow was rising up like steam vapor.
旅店就这样重又来到了我脑中，
Just like that motel came back to my mind again.
并且逐渐膨胀，不一会便把我的脑袋塞满了。那时铁脑袋没有了，脑袋的地方长出了一个旅店。
It was gradually getting bigger and soon took up my entire mind. Tough mentality had vanished and a motel came up in mind.
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司机这时在公路中央做起了广播操，他
The driver started doing television broadcast exercise routines in the middle of the highway.
从第一节做到最后一节，做得很认真。
He took it seriously in going through the routine from the first session to the last session.
做完又绕着汽车小跑起来。
After completion he jogged around the vehicle.
司机也许是在驾驶室里呆得太久，现在他需要锻炼身体了。
It was possible he stayed too long inside the driver’s compartment and needed to get his body in shape.
看着他在外面活动，我在里面也坐不住，
In watching him getting active outside, I could no longer bear to sit idle inside.
于是，打开车门也跳了下去。
So I opened the car door and jumped down to the ground as well.
但我没做放手操也没小跑。
I did not go all out to exercise or jog around.
我在想着旅店和旅店。
All I thought about was motel and motel only.
这个时候我看到坡上有五个骑着自行车下来，
At that time five cyclists came down the slope.
每辆自行车后座上都用一根扁担绑着两只很大的箩筐，
There were two big bamboo baskets tied onto a flat bamboo pole at the backseat of each bicycle.
我想他们大概是附近的农民，大概是卖菜回来。
My guess was they were likely farmers in the neighborhood who came back after selling their vegetables.
看到有人下来，我心里十分高兴，便迎上去喊道：“老乡，你们好。”
I was very happy to see someone and so I walked up to greet them: “Fellas how are you?”
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那五个骑到我跟前时跳下了车，
The five people rode right up to me and then jumped down from their bicycles.
我很高兴地迎了上去，问：“附近有旅店吗?”
I walked up to meet them happily and asked: “Is there any motel nearby?”
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他们没有回答，而是问我：“车上装的是什么?”
They did not answer me but asked me instead: “What’s the vehicle carrying in its load?”
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我说：“是苹果。”
I said: “Apples.”
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他们五人推着自行车走到汽车旁，
Those five people pushed the bicycles right up to the side of the vehicle.
有两个人爬到了汽车上，接着就翻下来十筐苹果，
Two people climbed up and threw down ten baskets of apples.
下面三个人把筐盖掀开往他们自己的筐里倒。
The three people down below open the lids and poured the apples inside their own baskets.
我一时间还不知道发生了什么，那情景让我目瞪口呆。
For a moment I was at a loss what was going on but the circumstances shocked me.
我明白过来就冲了上去，责问：“你们要干什么?”
After I caught on to what was happening, I rushed up and demanded: “What’s going on with you people?”
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他们谁也没理睬我，继续倒苹果。
None of them paid any attention to me and continued to pour the apples down.
我上去抓住其中一个人的手喊道：“有人抢苹果啦!”
I went up and grabbed the arm of one of them and shouted: “Some people are stealing apples.”
这时有一只拳头朝我鼻子上狠狠地揍来了，我被打出几米远。
A fist viciously punched me in the nose and dropped me to the ground a few meters away.
爬起来用手一摸，
I struggled up and felt around with my hands.
鼻子软塌塌地不是贴着而是挂在脸上了，
The nose was hanging softly from my face instead of attaching to it.
鲜血像是伤心的眼泪一样流。
Blood streamed down like heart-broken tears.
可当我看清打铁那个身强力壮的大汉时，他们五人已经跨上自行车骑走了。
But when I tried to see clearly what the blacksmith-like brawny guy looked like, the five of them had already jumped on their bicycles and rode away.
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司机此刻正在慢慢地散步，
At that time the driver was strolling around.
嘴唇翻着大口喘气，
His lips turned slightly upward and he was breathing hard.
他刚才大概跑累了。他好像一点也不知道刚才的事。
Likely he was tired from jogging and it seemed he was not a bit aware of what just happened.
我朝他喊：“你的苹果被抢走了!”
I shouted to him: “Someone stole your apples.”
可他根本没注意我在喊什么，仍在慢慢地散步。
But he did not pay any attention to what I was shouting and continued to saunter on.
我真想上去揍他一拳，也让他的鼻子挂起来。
I was really tempted to walk up and punch him in the face so that his nose would also be left hanging.
我跑过去对着他的耳朵大喊：“你的苹果被抢走了。”
I ran over and shouted loud into his ears: “Your apples were stolen.”
他这才转身看了我起来，
Only then he turned around and looked at me.
我发现他的表情越来越高兴，我发现他是在看我的鼻子。
I found his expression was getting increasingly amused in looking at my nose.
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这时候，坡上又有很多人骑着自行车下来了，每辆车后都有两只大筐，
At that time, many people came down the slope riding on bicycles which had two big baskets at the back of each of them.
骑车的人里面有一些孩子。
Some of the riders were children.
他们蜂拥而来，又立刻将汽车包围。好些人跳到汽车上面，
They swarmed around the vehicle and many of them jumped on top of it.
于是装苹果的箩筐纷纷而下，苹果从一些摔破的筐中像我的鼻血一样流了出来。
Then baskets full of apples tumbled down, and many apples poured out of shattered baskets like the blood flowing from my wounded nose.
他们都发疯般往自己筐中装苹果。
They stuffed the apples into their own baskets like crazy.
才一瞬间工夫，车上的苹果全到了地下。
In a flash, all the apples in the vehicle were lying on the ground.
那时有几辆手扶拖拉机从坡上隆隆而下，拖拉机也停在汽车旁，
Suddenly several hand-tractors came down the slope with rumbling sounds and parked beside the vehicle.
跳下一帮大汉开始往拖拉机上装苹果，那些空了的箩筐一只一只被扔了出去。
A gang of heavyset men placed the apples on the tractors and chucked away the empty baskets.
那时的苹果已经满地滚了，所有人都像蛤蟆似地蹲着捡苹果。
The apples were rolling around all over the ground and people were squatting down like toads to pick them up.
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我是在这个时候奋不顾身扑上去的，我大声骂着：“强盗!”扑了上去。
I ignored my own safety and charged forward while screaming: “Thieves!”
于是有无数拳脚前来迎接，我全身每个地方几乎同时挨了揍。
I was greeted by numerous punches and kicks at every inch of my body.
我支撑着从地上爬起来时，几个孩子朝我击来苹果。
When I struggled to crawl up from the ground, I was hit by apples thrown at me by several kids.
苹果撞在脑袋上碎了，但脑袋没碎。
The apples smashed into pieces when they landed on my head but my head did not shatter.
我正要扑过去揍那些孩子，有一只脚狠狠地踢在我腰部。
Just when I was going to run over to punch out those kids, a leg ferociously kicked me at the waist.
我想叫唤一声，可嘴巴一张却没有声音。
I tried to scream but no noise came out of my mouth.
我跌坐在地上，我再也爬不起来了，
I fell down, sat on the ground and could not get up anymore.
只能看着他们乱抢苹果。
So I could only watch as they scrambled to grab at those apples.
我开始用眼睛去寻找那司机，
I started to look around for the driver.
这家伙此刻正站在远处朝我哈哈大笑，
This fellow stood at a distance and laughed his head off towards my direction.
我便知道现在自己的模样一定比刚才的鼻子更精彩了。
I knew I looked more ridiculous now than what I just looked with my broken nose.
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那个时候我连愤怒的力气都没有了。
At that time I did not even have the strength to get angry.
我只能用眼睛看着这些使我愤怒极顶的一切。我最愤怒的是那个司机。
I could only watch with my eyes at all those things which got me steaming, and the one thing that infuriated me the most was the driver.
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坡上又下来了一些手扶拖拉机和自行车，他们也投入到这场浩劫中去。
Other hand-tractors and bicycles came down the slope to join in this ravaging.
我看到地上的苹果越来越少，
I saw the apples on the ground were diminishing in number.
看着一些人离去和一些人来到。
I looked on as some people departed and others arrived.
来迟的人开始在汽车上动手，
Some late comers began to work on the automobile.
我看着他们将车窗玻璃卸了下来，将轮胎卸了下来，又将木板橇了下来。
I watched as they took off the glass windows, tires and wooden planks from the vehicle.
轮胎被卸去后的汽车显得特别垂头丧气，它趴在地上。
The vehicle without the tires looked particularly downcast sprawling on the ground.
一些孩子则去捡那些刚才被扔出去的箩筐。
Some kids went to pick up the baskets discarded not too long ago.
我看着地上越来越干净，人也越来越少。
I noticed the ground was getting cleaner and the crowd was thinning out.
可我那时只能看着了，因为我连愤怒的力气都没有了。
But at that time all I could do was to watch because I didn’t even have the energy to get angry.
我坐在地上爬不起来，
I sat on the ground and was unable to crawl up.
我只能让目光走来走去。
All I could do was to look around.
现在四周空荡荡了，只有一辆手扶拖拉机还停在趴着的汽车旁。
Now the place was pretty much empty except a hand-tractor was still parked by the side of the sprawling vehicle.
有几个人在汽车旁东瞧西望，是在看看还有什么东西可以拿走。
Several people beside the vehicle were looking around to see if there was anything they could take away.
看了一阵后才一个一个爬到拖拉机上，于是拖拉机开动了。
After looking around for a little bit, they got up onto the tractor and then it started to move.
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这时我看到那个司机也跳到拖拉机上去了，
At that time I saw the driver jumped onto the tractor as well.
他在车斗里坐下来后还在朝我哈哈大笑。
He sat down at the front and laughed out loud at me.
我看到他手里抱着的是我那个红色的背包。
I noticed he was holding my red knapsack.
他把我的背包抢走了。背包里有我的衣服和我的钱，还有食品和书。可他把我的背包抢走了。
He snatched away my knapsack with my clothes, money, food and books inside.
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我看着拖拉机爬上了坡，然后就消失了，但仍能听到它的声音，
I saw the tractor climbed up the slope and disappeared, but I could still hear its noise.
可不一会连声音都没有了。
But after a short while even the noise was gone.
四周一下了寂静下来，天也开始黑下来。
All of a sudden everywhere around quieted down and the sky began to get dark.
我仍在地上坐着，我这时又饥又冷，
I was sitting on the ground feeling hungry and cold.
可我现在什么都没有了。
But now I had lost everything.
我在那里坐了很久，然后才慢慢爬起来，
I sat there for a long time and then crawled up slowly.
我爬起来时很艰难，因为每动一下全身就剧烈地疼痛，
It was difficult for me to get up because every move I made triggered excruciating pain all over my body.
但我还是爬了起来。我一拐一拐地走到汽车旁边。
Yet I managed to get up and limped to the side of the vehicle.
那汽车的模样真是惨极了，它遍体鳞伤地趴在那里，
The vehicle looked pathetic and maimed lying there.
我知道自己也是遍体鳞伤了。
I knew I was mutilated as well all over my body.
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天色完全黑了，四周什么都没有，只有遍体鳞伤的汽车和遍体鳞伤的我。
The sky was completely dark and there was nothing around except the maimed vehicle and the maimed me.
我无限悲伤地看着汽车，汽车也无限悲伤地看着我。
I looked sadly at the vehicle and the vehicle looked sadly back at me.
我伸出手去抚摸了它。它浑身冰凉。
I reached over and touched it and found it was ice-cold all over its body.
那时候开始起风了，风很大，
The wind began to blow at that time and it was strong.
山上树叶摇动时的声音像是海涛的声音，
Sounds of trembling leaves on the mountain were much like that of tidal waves.
这声音使我恐惧，使我也像汽车一样浑身冰凉。
These sounds made me feel frightened and cold like the vehicle.
我打开车门钻了进去，
I opened the car door and went inside.
座椅没被他们撬去，这让我心里稍稍有了安慰。
The car seats were not pried away by those people and I felt a bit consoled.
我就在驾驶室里躺了下来。我闻到了一股漏出来的汽油味，那气味像是我身内流出的血液的气味。
I lay down inside the driver’s compartment and smelled leaked gasoline similar to smell of my blood flowing out from my body.
外面风越来越大，但我躺在座椅上开始感到暖和一点了。
The wind outside was blowing stronger but I felt a bit warmer lying on the seat.
我感到这汽车虽然遍体鳞伤，可它心窝还是健全的，还是暖和的。
Even though the vehicle was wounded, I could sense its heart was intact and warm.
我知道自己的心窝也是暖和的。
I knew my heart was warm as well.
我一直在寻找旅店，没想到旅店你竟在这里。
I had been searching for a motel all along and never thought the motel was right here.
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我躺在汽车的心窝里，想起了那么一个晴朗温和的中午，
I lay at the heart of the vehicle, and recalled a sunny and warm afternoon.
那时的陽光非常美丽。我记得自己在外面高高兴兴地玩了半天，然后我回家了，
Sunlight was very beautiful and I remembered coming home after playing outside happily for half a day.
在窗外看到父亲正在屋内整理一个红色的背包，
From outside the window I saw my father was organizing a red knapsack.
我扑在窗口问：“爸爸，你要出门?”
I leaned on the window and asked: “Dad, are you taking a long trip?”
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父亲转过身来温和地说：“不，是让你出门。”
Dad turned around and said gently: “No. I am going to let you take a long trip.”
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“让我出门?”
“You’re letting me take a long trip?”
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“是的，你已经十八了，你应该去认识一下外面的世界了。”
“Yes, you are already eighteen and should go out to learn about the outside world.”
后来我就背起了那个漂亮的红背包，
Afterwards I put the beautiful red knapsack on my back.
父亲在我脑后拍了一下，就像在马屁股上拍了一下。
Dad patted me at the back of my head, just like patting a horse on the behind.
于是我欢快地冲出了家门，像一匹兴高采烈的马一样欢快地奔跑了起来。
So I cheerfully rushed out the door and ran like an excited and spirted horse.
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一九八六年十一月十六日北京
November 16th, 1986 in Beijing.