海滩派对 (1963)
Cappy: Not you again. Eric Von Zipper: Yep, it's me. Cappy: I though maybe you'd skip us this year. Eric Von Zipper: I like you. And when Eric Von Zipper likes someone, they stay liked. Big Daddy: Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging! Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Marianne, this book will be my triumph. Marianne: And you'll never get it though the mail. But hang on to the picture rights. I'm sure American International will snap it up in a minute. Eric Von Zipper: Look, nobody tells Eric Von Zipper nothin'! J.D.: That's right, nobody tells Eric Von Zipper nothin'! Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Who are you? J.D.: J.D. Eric Von Zipper: That's short for "Juvenile Delinquent." [Eric Von Zipper's motorcycle run away and crashes] J.D.: You did it again, boss. Eric Von Zipper: You stupid, fix it! [at the arrival of Eric Von Zipper and his Rat Pack] Cappy: Just what we need, the black plague! Cappy: Just one thing, Professor, will you level with me? What's with the feather duster? The beard? You think it moves the chicks? Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: No, it usually works the other way. Cappy: I don't dig. You don't want to level with me? Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: All right I'll level with you. When I first started out a Harvard, I was the youngest professor at the university. I was so young that it was sickening. No one took me seriously. Every time when I opened my mouth to speak, my students laughed, the other professors laughed, even the janitors laughted. Well, I knew it couldn't go on for long before I was fired, so one day at lunch, I sat down in the student cafeteria and presented my problem to this old professor friend of mine. And without even glancing up from his soup, he said to me: "buy yourself a pair of glasses and grow a beard." So you see, all of this is just 18 years of professor windowdressing. Cappy: Amazing how our lives parallel. You have that, and I have this. [points to his chin] Cappy: You know why I grew this? I got a dimple in my chin and I didn't want anyone mistaking me for Kirk Douglas. Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: But you don't look anything like Kirk Douglas. Cappy: See? It works. Frankie: I want to talk to you about Delores. I'm Frankie. Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Oh, hi Frankie. I'm... Frankie: I know who you are.
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Prof. Robert O. Sutwell
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: You do? Frankie: You're the guy that's been cutting in on my time! Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: No, please, just a moment I - Frankie: You're brainwashing her with your beard! Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Brainwashing her with my beard? Frankie: Why else would she be crazy about someone like you? Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Now that, I resent. Frankie: I mean, you're an old man. Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Now just a second. If you're so crazy about Delores, why are you running around flirting with that Hungarian goulash? Frankie: Because she's my girl. Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Who? Goulash? Frankie: No, Delores! Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Oh, I see now, yes! You're trying to make her jealous. Put her down. Typical Aborigine attitude. I suppose you'd like to drag her off on your surfboard by the roots of her hair. Frankie: Yes, I would! I love her. Look, I know how you can love her too because she's lovable. But I'm telling you this: I am not gonna let any over aged fuzzy-face take away my girl! Not, if I have anything to do with it, and believe me Mister, I do! By the way, how are you fixed for blades? Cappy: Can I ask you something, Professor? Are you studying these kids sex lives, or you getting involved in it? Eric Von Zipper: Ah, Professor? Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: Yes, Mr. Von Zipper? Eric Von Zipper: I wonder if we could talk for a minute? Prof. Robert O. Sutwell: You mean like pull over? Eric Von Zipper: We could do that too. Rhonda: Deadhead, how could you be hungry at a time like this? Deadhead: A man can't live by love alone.